Hrm, this game kind of looks like crap, I don't know what those Penny Arcade dudes are all excited about with this...oh, I hold down the mouse button to break these stupid blocks. Well, let me just wander around for a bit just to see what's so amazing ab...HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE HELL JUST BLEW UP IN MY FACE?!...I'm going to respawn just to try to figure out what that was. In the meantime let me smash up this tree. I hear good things about collecting wood. Oh, I can turn it into a pile of logs. Oh, I can turn the logs into....WHAT THE FUCK! SOME GUY JUST SHOT ARROWS AT ME WHILE I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO TURN SHIT INTO! Ok, I'm going to respawn one more time because I want to know more about this wood situation. Let me look this stuff up on a Wiki first though...Whoa, I can turn so much crap into so much other crap...And I can SMELT SHIT!? Ok, let me dig a hole out here in the wilderness and just mess around. GAHHH. I WAS EATEN BY A SPIDER WHILE DIGGING. Ok, let me make this closer to my spawn point.
3 Hours later:
I wonder how deep into the ground I can dig.
6 Hours later:
Pretty deep.
3 Days, and a beard later:
Hrm. My cave is just about perfect, with three exits, explosives set up to auto detonate upon intrusion and surrounded by secret underground tunnels that I've dug. And I've captured a spider and two zombies for my menagerie out back. I guess I can eat a sandwich now. What's it been 15 minutes?
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