Monday, March 5, 2007

Even Though My Balls are Big, Sometimes I Wish They Were Bigger

So I've been doing a lot of drinking and I've decided that it stops me from being the productive person i know I can be. Rather than stopping with all the drinking I think I'm just going to be an unproductive alcoholic for the rest of my life...why not right? Who needs a real job and a house...people who don't think you smell bad? A wife...2 1/2 kids...a dog...a sex doll for when your wife is away on business trips? Oh god...my life is a shambles.

Nah, I'm just kidding guys, I'm taking it easy on the booze and trying to get back into the swing of writing more often, although, the booze is what helped so many writers be productive, so I'm not sure its gonna work the way I plan.

I read an article in Reuters' Oddly Enough section about some parents beating up a principal in Italy over their son's bad grades. This is why Italians are crazy as fuck. I know what you're thinking..."I'm Italian you piece of shit! Go fuck yourself!" But seriously, chances are that if you are Italian, you are a crazy bastard and willing to beat the shit out of some principal or cop over grades or a damn soccer game.

In other news, my testicles are growing way too large lately. They are rivaling Mars and Jupiter and may soon even be as big as the swing of Tiger Woods.

1 comment:

ben said...

It's not a sex doll, it's a Real Doll (TM). Also, mine are only big as the wheels on tractors. They tend to be much more manageable at that size.